He is someone i considered close to my heart once. Through the travel of time, we were not close anymore but he still has that spot in there and i guess forever it will be because he is my “first love.” hehehe. We parted ways in 1987 when he moved to another school. Our gf/bf relationship has gone cold later in time. When he left there were no goodbyes nor he gave me a notice that he is leaving and that he will never talk to me again. But he never did that. He just left so i thought that it was a mutual separation that happened. Separated by distance so the heart grown cold. He did not talk to me anymore. He left me with a very broken heart. At 15 i already cried a river because it hurt so much. Everytime i go over his lovenotes and letters, i cry silently. Even simple teasings of my friends to remind me of him, brought tears to my eyes. He was my first boyfriend and he was my first heartbroken so i consider him to be my first love. After he left, we never met not until i was already in college. I was travelling back to school that time then our paths cross but no one said a hi.
In October 1994 during my graduation, he was introduced “again” to me by his brother who was my batchmate. I would say introduce because there was none other way that would not be awkward on how we would say hi to each other. So we were introduced and we shook hands. I was brave enough to ask him to have a photo with me. Until now i still kept that picture not intentionally because he is so and so. I kept it because it is part of my graduation album.
That was only it. The questions i have in my mind during my sophomore in HS was still there but it was an unappropriate time to ask him. So that was only it.
Our paths crossed again several times in the past 3 years but he never said hi. I wanted him to say hi first but he never did. I tried to look into his eyes but i can never see a flicker of recognition so he also receives a cold stare or look from me. We just pass by each other. Not until today. -
I went to the hospital earlier to give my package to my classmate’s sister. I saw him! And of course i always recognize him. Talking with him is a co worker whom i have something very important to tell, so i have to stop and talk with that person. Then he say something of recognition so I said hi and smiled at him and we shook hands. I know i acted casual ly as expected but deep in me, I was happy. The moment was sort of accidental but it was also a chance so there is no use giving him a snob countenance. Though am not that type. He hurt me long back but i was never angry at him nor angry with anyone. Sometime ago i try to imagine on what would i do if ever i meet him again, but when i do, i can never bring myself to say hi to him or really ask a moment for me to ask a question. But i did not ever have that chance and i dunno if i can still have that chance.
I know he’s been happily married for long and i think is doing good. He will be around here for sometime, so maybe i would have the chance to say hi again. Not the flirty hi. Promise! If ever i will have the chance to ask him my “21 year old question/s” i think i will do so.
