MQW6 – Meeting the Challenge of Motherhood

Thanks Nice for inviting me to share my thoughts on this topic. Let me see what can i share.

{START COPY}

The Rules:

The aim of these questions is to share opinions and experiences among moms (or dads) in the blogosphere.

Each week a new question will be posted and I’m inviting mom and dads to answer and share their thoughts about it.

If you are participating, leave your links in the comments section.

Link back to this site inviting other parents to join the fun.

Try to visit the other participants…you will love their answers, that’s for sure

I had been a entirely different person ever since I became a mom. I’m pretty sure other moms feel the same way. It was the best privilege ever presented to me but it comes with a lot of challenges. So the question of the week goes…

What adjustments did you make in your life to fit the role of a mother? Can you share some tips to make your tasks easier?

{END COPY}

I’d like to say that maybe my role as mother may not the same as most of the participant of this meme or let’s say not a common one but i still would like to share what i’ve been through and how i dealt with them. Who knows maybe some single moms can come across my post and can be able to get a point of two.

Adjustments -

1. I became a mother at the young age of 25. I would say young because all in all i was not yet ready. But i was in a situation that there’s no more turning back so i have to go on and promise to myself and God that am gonna take care of the baby no matter what. My real singleness freedom was gone and it took me time to adjust to it. Am glad mom was there to help me. I was a dotting mom for more than a month but in my mind i was soo worried on how to raise the child – i was jobless.

2. Mom on the go. Being mom on the go is not a childhood dream. I dreamed to be a working mom with a supportive husband and kids to raise and home to maintain but it never happened. So when my baby was 2 months old i have to leave her in my mom’s care. I carried some of her clothes so that i can sleep with it all the nights i was away from her. Wherever i was, i constantly writing to her and mom told me that she keeps all my letters and the thing is that anyone that visits my home she would show them my letters and she would say, “this is from my mommy.”

I think no moms ever dream to leave their young child in the care of anyone, but there are just situations that you have to. Thinking that my kid needs my financial support took abit of the guilt of being a “mom on the go.”

I can still remember when i left her in 2002 for China. She was all smiles when i boarded the bus for Cagayan de Oro. She was happy because in her mind, Mom is going away to work so that there’s money to buy milk for her. And really more than a month later, when they got my first salary, she ran around the neighbors house carrying her big can of Anchor telling everyone that “mom has sent me money and see my can of milk.” When my mom told me this online and in her letter, i really bawled in tears. I did miss her so much and am so awed with her innocence.

That is why for now, even though am reallyhaving a hard time here making both ends meet, I am staying because i also want to have the chance to see her grow. Fortunately, we are together now for straight 3 years and indeed i’ve seen her grow real daily.

3. Marriage and the broken marriage. I got married thinking that it was the already the chance to make a whole family. Though at the back of my mind that time i don’t feel right but i heed to counsels of people older than me and experienced in marriage so at 8 months pregnancy, i decided to be married to the man i was living with. Adjustment in marriage plus the kid was tough. Though i experienced a whole “motherhood” that time yet the marriage adjustment was just too much. I gave all that i had and he took all what i have given him and even rob me off that respect and confidence yet i can’t fight him. He was a man and i should listen to him. fortunately for me and unfortunately for him, i had the chance to leave – so i left. That made me again a “mom on the go” forever for my son. The adjustment of being away from my sun took me a year to be ok. Daily i cry of missing him – but thinking that i need to be away from them to make me psychologically and emotionally strong so that they can still grow up and knew they have a mom somewhere toiling for them – i am not pressured of the guilt anymore.

Tips on how to make my task easier:

1. Learn to trust others specially in the care of your child. I owe a lot to my mom.

2. Live one day at a time. If others are stressed they have no savings in the bank for emergency cases, well, i don’t have and i don’t try to think about it or else i will die early of hypertension.

3. Give yourself a “me” time and treat yourself. Having a mom who gave all of herself to her family and yet she still ended up being hurt and real worked-out even after her retirment age, i promise myself that at least once a month i should give myself a “me time” – going out alone or with friends and have the time of life because i know chances like that will never come my way again. I don’t often go out but i also treatment myself to buy what i love – footwears! I buy cheap ones so if i want to i buy myself at least once in two months. Just think you work for your family thinking you have to give them 100% of ur time and 100% of what you’re earning. No! Not for me. I give 90% of my income for them and 90% of my time. The 10% of both should be for me. I need that. I need that for my personal growth to maintain a healthy emotional state.

4. Be open. Speak up. Speak up what you really feel. If you feel tired being wonderwoman, it’s not bad to say you’re tired and burn out so you need time to be alone. At least am just lucky to have a healthy relationship with my mom or else i really have to do everything. I like to think that we are partners in raising my daughter.